Obituary of Joseph J. Fay
LOUDONVILLE - Dr. Joseph J. Fay, 82, passed away on December 8, 2019, and, by no fault of his own, left his family and friends devastated. This will not be your ordinary obituary. Joe would have hated a lengthy diatribe filled with monotonous educational achievements, philanthropic endeavors, and professional accolades. I, his wife Ellen, lost the love of my life. I'm going to give you a glimpse into Joe's life the way he'd like it to be remembered.
Oddly, I wrote this obituary as I watched the Screen Actor's Guild Awards on January 27, 2019. I was thinking about our mortality as Alan Alda was receiving his Lifetime Achievement Award and how my husband would want to be remembered someday. Joe would certainly be laughing at this point, as we always joked that Alan Alda was my secret crush. I can hear Joe now, "Great, hun, you were watching Alan Alda and thinking about my demise? How thoughtful!" Truthfully, Joe would understand, and to be honest, I wrote mine that evening too.
Joe was a physician for 43 years. He cared very deeply for his patients. Joe came from very humble beginnings and yet, put himself through college and medical school. A guy who barely passed high school, Joe was inspired in the Navy to go further. After putting himself through college, Joe then went straight into medical school in Lausanne, Switzerland where all the coursework was taught in French, and afterwards went onto graduate from New York Medical College.
He married, had three fabulous children, and then life changed. Unable to cook for himself, he went onto find the woman of his dreams, me. Joe adored his family. He cared for others and rarely asked for anything in return, except for a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich and/or a fried egg on toast, a scotch on the rocks with a slice of orange, the location of his glasses, and the god damned password to his IPad. I once gave him a silver bell to ring if he needed anything. This was a choice I quickly regretted.
Joe loved to travel, play golf and tennis, and boat on Lake George. He wasn't particularly good at any of them, but he had a decent day job. He was an accomplished, competitive marksman and, believe me, I have the boxes of trophies to prove it. His strong belief in the importance of a life lived with the ones you love over material possessions was only handicapped by his love for his 1992 Corvette. Admit it, you thought I was going to be all sweet and sappy there.
Finally, and most certainly not least, Joe is survived by his ever charming wife, Ellen, his loving sister, Vivien, his first born, and ever so handsome and muscular son, Joe Jr (Kati), his brilliantly talented and successful daughter, Genevieve (David), his caring and unstoppable daughter, Alicia (Bart), his passionate and hardworking son, Britton (Jamie), and his incredibly devoted and talented son, David. Joe also leaves behind two ever so loving granddaughters, Sierra and Maddy, three strong and handsome grandsons, Taylon, Noah and Kyle, and some pretty freaking awesome nieces, nephews, and even grand nieces and nephew. Also mourning the loss of Joe is the Dewars' Company.
Godspeed my love. You gave me the best 37 years of my life. You will be forever cherished, missed, and I shall not only ever love you, but I promise to enshrine your ashes for as long as they match our decor. Joe and I had something extraordinarily special. Thank you for indulging me, reading this, and understand that this was the only way I could truly express the broken heart I am feeling at this moment.
For our family and friends, please don't send flowers! Instead, please consider a contribution to your local Animal Shelter in Joe's name. That would certainly bring a smile to his face.
There will not be a public service, Joe hated a crowd. It is the holidays, enjoy and embrace your loved ones.
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